Do You Expect Others To Act As You Do Yourself?

It may seem unfair, but you can’t expect anything from anyone but yourself. Other people also have their interests and these do not always coincide with your own.

Nothing is more agonizing than expecting others to act as you do yourself. Many people make this mistake and no one can deny that it affects their emotional balance.

Usually  , you always expect a lot from the people you love the most because it gives you a sense of security.

Assuming, anticipating, and expecting this person to behave as expected is one way of experiencing the world as controllable and reliable.

Nonetheless, things don’t always turn out the way you imagined and that is the cause of disappointment. Everyone needs a certain degree of security in life, without which one would not know where one is and therefore would have to suffer a lot.

But don’t overdo this thought by expecting the rest of the world to act according to your own values .

Learn more about how to deal with this problem here.

About the power of expectations or how one expects others to act like oneself

Parents are very careful that their children behave as they would themselves. Friends usually expect to be defended anytime, anywhere. The husband expects his wife to meet his expectations at all times.

You have certainly already encountered such situations in your environment. These are dangerous and kö can both parties cause suffering. That’s not how it works.

But what exactly is happening there?

If you act contrary to my expectations, then you are betraying me

If you don’t support a friend’s ongoing initiative, they’ll accuse you of treason or falsehood. It is quite possible that your goals contradict your own values, or that you cannot help him because you are having problems yourself.

• Anyone who cannot empathize with other people in order to understand their particular points of view and their right to disagree has not understood how positive relationships work that are based on reciprocity and respect.

Nobody is compelled or obliged to behave in accordance with the expectations of others. If you do, then you distance yourself from your own personality and damage your self-esteem.

The importance of being in control of all areas of your life

Some people cannot allow uncertainty: not knowing what is going to happen or encountering reactions and behaviors that they cannot control.

People who cannot handle the fact that others act by their own standards suffer a lot of frustrations and disappointments that damage their self-esteem.

In truth, it is enough to become more empathetic. And most importantly, stop expecting others to act according to your own expectations.

You should not expect everything from others, but from yourself

Rights and obligations

Those who stop expecting everything from others are freer and have more energy to concentrate on what really matters: expecting everything from themselves.

• You have the right to be respected by others.
• You have the right to be loved, but not to control or be controlled by the lives of those who love you.
• You have the right to expect reciprocity, but not to trust that everyone will agree with your ideas, decisions, and values.

• You have the right to fight for your dreams and let others do the same, even if they are very different from yours.

• You have a duty to take care of yourself, protect your self-esteem and prevent disappointment because the world is not acting like you.
• You have a duty to proactively strive to be happy without being 100 percent dependent on others. Accept refusals and understand that they can let you down from time to time.
• Understand that you, too, can disappoint others and not become a better or worse person because of it. Everyone tries to be happy and free in their own way, while respecting others.

The world and people are chaotic. Pretending that everyone is behaving exactly as you would expect them to create a lot of stress and suffering.